That's That And The What's What

by That's That And The What's What

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about

Three Chicago friends set out to make a "classic rock" album but got lost along the way.

credits

released September 5, 2013

Recorded by Travis Carter at Gabe's place and at Breakfast Nook Studios. Mastered by Conor Loughridge.

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license

all rights reserved

about

That's That And The What's What Chicago, Illinois

Our favorite publications include "Get Bent Quarterly", "National Turbographix", and the labels on bottles of Dead Raccoon. We smoke five packs of wolves a day. Three-time Junior National Wonder Rat Champions. Friends of Mr. Taco.

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Track Name: Aviator Shades
I got guitars on my wall
I got guitars in each hand
I am one hundred feet tall
I got Will Long in my band

Straight out Wisconsin, Racine
Straight out Chicago, South Side
I took the technology scene by storm and then I
took NYC from behind
I wear my, I wear my

Aviator shades and a leather cuff
Aviator shades the girls can't get enuff
Aviator shades and a pompadour
My aviator shades and ladies lined up out the door

I'm gonna lay down the law
I drive a Mercedes Benz
I am the real Doctor Claw
and you remember my friends
the reflective lenses?

Aviator shades and a leather cuff
Aviator shades the girls can't get enuff
Aviator shades and a pompadour
My aviator shades and making ladies beg for more

(And from time to time, I might choose to ride a white horse
Straight up LaSalle Street
Bitches)
Track Name: Dead Raccoon
It ain't for college girls on Friday nights
It ain't for mama's boys or tickle fights
It ain't for spiking punch at senior proms
It ain't for barbecues or soccer moms

Next to the railroad tracks
Casino parking lots
Gas station bathroom stalls
Wrapped in a paper bag
Beneath the underpass
That's where you take the fall

Wear the mask™
Dead Raccoon

Tastes like the inside of a stripper's mouth
Burns like a tire fire going down

The flames flare up inside a rusty oil drum
You clutch your trusty flask
And if tomorrow comes you'll make it rue the day
It's time to wear the mask

Wear the mask™
Dead Raccoon

"Every bottle of Dead Raccoon begins with the finest barley... harvested from some Midwestern plain previously soiled from intentional sewage runoff. Near Zug Island.

Hi, I'm John Ugolini, and when I want to unwind right down to the spool—when I really want to hurt some people's feelings—I reach for the only beverage carelessly filtered through the polyester wedding gowns of mail-order brides and distilled in discarded inner tubes from the Indiana Beach Lazy River. Dead Raccoon: Now available in Syrup Flavor. Wear the mask.™"

Wear the mask™
Dead Raccoon
Track Name: Bear Skin Rug
Girl, you were dancing so hard you knocked me over
That's how I knew I had to get you alone
Girl, you were sweating inside that leather jacket
and I could smell you getting into the zone

CHORUS:
You pulled the curtains
You rolled the carpet out
Laid out that bear skin rug
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout

You pulled the fire alarm
You kicked the door down
That's when I knew we had to get out of dodge
We ran like hell through the night, jumped over fences,
cut through the woods, and busted into the lodge

CHORUS

The flames licked higher and higher
The smoke blew up and away
Our bones all ground up together
Ashes burned black then burned grey

Girl, you were kicking my ass
You took my name down
You had my heart and you were holding your own
Girl, you were screaming your guts out to the music
Your breath was hot, your voice was shot, my mind was blown

CHORUS
Track Name: PNK SHME
I married young and I thought that she would always love me
She loved her makeup and all of her party times
I should have known it was over when she started cryin'
all night long 'til she left me for another guy

All she left me was her Mary Kay powder pink Cadillac
Thought she'd stick it to me, she thought she'd throw me off my game
I called it PNK SHME

Yeah
Now everybody knows my name when I drive by
PNK SHME

I couldn't help it, I had to get where I was going
It wasn't easy, I never thought I'd hear the end
I thought my days our cruisin' were finally over
I didn't know PNK SHME could be a man's best friend

Until I took it to the Hot Wax Bikini Car Wash
The girls went crazy, they couldn't wait to take a ride
They climbed inside

Yeah
Now everybody knows my name
Hold my head high
PNK SHME

P-N-K S-H-M-E

Yeah
Now everybody knows my name
Hold my head high
PNK SHME
Track Name: Dry Clean Only [Explicit]
I see you at the bar there
You're all tucked in and stiffed up
Sippin' from your little cup, your little cup
Boy, why are your clothes so clean?
Ooh, baby, I'd be so obscene

Your button-up is such a tease
A hint of skin
Oh, I wanna see you on your knees, on your knees
Boy, I've seen you in my dreams

I wanna fuck you cross-eyed
I wanna get all scrunched up
I wanna pop your buttons off
I wanna fuck you crossed-eyed

I break you down with one request
A little wink
I tell you, "Baby, loosen up, loosen up!"
You're gonna get, you won't regret
You're betting on a winning bet

The taxi ride it isn't long
Yeah, you belong
I tip the cabbie way too much, way too much
'Cause I ain't gonna wait for change

I wanna fuck you cross-eyed
I wanna get all scrunched up
I wanna pop your buttons off
I wanna fuck but

I don't believe your clothes are dry clean only
Your seam is ripped, your stitch undone
and it's all because of a little fun
I can't believe your shirt says dry clean only
I'll make a stain that won't come out
Your dry cleaner's gonna scream and shout

I wanna fuck you cross-eyed
I wanna get all scrunched up
I wanna pop your buttons off

I wanna fuck you cross-eyed
I wanna fuck you tongue-tied
I wanna fuck you inside out
I wanna fuck you cross-eyed
Track Name: Wildcat Country
When Stephanie came home, she
she was so surprised
to find a stranger watching T.V. inside

He said his name was Ryan
Friends of friends, you know
She said, "Hey, there's a party if you wanna go."

CHORUS: Ooo, oo-oo

Met up a little later for a midnight snack
They bought a box of Golden Grahams
On the back was Jeopardy For Lovers: The Computer Game
Put in the CD-ROM and played the night away

CHORUS

Who were the Montagues?
Who were the Capulets?
What are the Wildcats?
What is a sobriquet?

CHORUS
Track Name: Enemy & Robot
He wore a three-piece
She wore a prom dress
Their paths had crossed but they'd not been properly introduced

She liked his blue suit
He liked her blue eyes
Her heart was kick drum
His heart was snare drum on every beat

Her name was Enemy
His name was Robot

He saw her start up the mezzanine steps
He made a bee-line, but at the top she had disappeared
Was she a ghost that he had imagined?
He turned his back until she returned unaccompanied

So there was Enemy
and there was Robot

Bike messengers danced below

I love you Enemy
I love you Robot
Track Name: Impeccable
Days of late I'm a sinner, man
Never get home for my dinner, man
Got a date with a pin-up boy
He's always restless

Faces forward in a dance
likes to fake romance
paints a dreary happenstance
I think he's pretty

Days of late, I'm a target practice
Always late for my latest wish
Got a fate with monotony
It keeps me going

I face forward in a trance
I like my circumstance
I paint a funny little life
At times I'm lively

CHORUS:
And baby, fortunate for me
We were an impeccable we
And at least I was clean
While you wrote love songs

Days of late I'm a combat zone
Fighting vainly on the telephone
Got a faceful of worried lines
and nothing changes

You face forward seeing space
You fake a jolly face
You paint a pretty black and white
and you lose sight

CHORUS

Take your time
Make you mine
They think I'm fine
Won't change my mind

CHORUS

Baby, I'm not hiding from
all the silly lies you spun
but we all had such fun
while you wrote love songs
Track Name: High Horse
get off your high horse
you're right down here with me
and it's too late anyway

'cause I spent the money on booze and pills and horses
and yeah, it was goddamn worth it
so cut me up with your kitchen knives
and free us both from our wretched lives
but get off your high horse

your pretensions are useless
and your vanity's worth even less
'cause I'd rather die than be
penned in straight and narrow
and I can beg and steal and borrow
so put antifreeze in my coffee
or you could make it look like a robbery

but you, of course, will do nothing
and I will keep on drinking
until the ground swells up and takes me
if only I were so lucky

but you're on your high horse
Track Name: Witch Of The New Millennium
CHORUS:
Straight out of beauty school
Plastered by light and truth
She is a witch of the new millennium
Get close enough to touch
She'll burn your paltry lust
She is a witch of the new millenium

She'll make you believe in forever
Senseless, free, you'll have no want of sound
She'll force the spin on your mary-go-round
Round and round and round

Squash the moves you can muster
Bruise the floor the walls the chair the door
She dances down
No second chance, no rock without show

Can't promise comfort but fire will engulf your little mind
She'll see you coming and you can't break free there's no time

CHORUS

Frequently fast at forgiving
All this time displacement made you blind
Blind to the weight of her heart in her hand, yeah
The prowess of her mind

Dim the lights of her basement
Make her grope the edges of the wall
She'll never fall
She's a watershed, she's superhuman

Can't see in darkness
Her pupils resist your narrow shove
It's not opinion, she's objectively mocking your love

Oh

She is a witch of the new millennium
Track Name: Dry Clean Only [Clean]
I see you at the bar there
You're all tucked in and stiffed up
Sippin' from your little cup, your little cup
Boy, why are your clothes so clean?
Ooh, baby, I'd be so obscene

Your button-up is such a tease
A hint of skin
Oh, I wanna see you on your knees, on your knees
Boy, I've seen you in my dreams

I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed
I wanna get all scrunched up
I wanna pop your buttons off
I wanna BLEEP you crossed-eyed

I break you down with one request
A little wink
I tell you, "Baby, loosen up, loosen up!"
You're gonna get, you won't regret
You're betting on a winning bet

The taxi ride it isn't long
Yeah, you belong
I tip the cabbie way too much, way too much
'Cause I ain't gonna wait for change

I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed
I wanna get all scrunched up
I wanna pop your buttons off
I wanna BLEEP but

I don't believe your clothes are dry clean only
Your seam is ripped, your stitch undone
and it's all because of a little fun
I can't believe your shirt says dry clean only
I'll make a stain that won't come out
Your dry cleaner's gonna scream and shout

I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed
I wanna get all scrunched up
I wanna pop your buttons off

I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed
I wanna BLEEP you tongue-tied
I wanna BLEEP you inside out
I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed