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That's That And The What's What

by That's That And The What's What

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    Bundled with PDF file featuring front cover, back cover, and inexplicable third cover.
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1.
I got guitars on my wall I got guitars in each hand I am one hundred feet tall I got Will Long in my band Straight out Wisconsin, Racine Straight out Chicago, South Side I took the technology scene by storm and then I took NYC from behind I wear my, I wear my Aviator shades and a leather cuff Aviator shades the girls can't get enuff Aviator shades and a pompadour My aviator shades and ladies lined up out the door I'm gonna lay down the law I drive a Mercedes Benz I am the real Doctor Claw and you remember my friends the reflective lenses? Aviator shades and a leather cuff Aviator shades the girls can't get enuff Aviator shades and a pompadour My aviator shades and making ladies beg for more (And from time to time, I might choose to ride a white horse Straight up LaSalle Street Bitches)
2.
Dead Raccoon 03:07
It ain't for college girls on Friday nights It ain't for mama's boys or tickle fights It ain't for spiking punch at senior proms It ain't for barbecues or soccer moms Next to the railroad tracks Casino parking lots Gas station bathroom stalls Wrapped in a paper bag Beneath the underpass That's where you take the fall Wear the mask™ Dead Raccoon Tastes like the inside of a stripper's mouth Burns like a tire fire going down The flames flare up inside a rusty oil drum You clutch your trusty flask And if tomorrow comes you'll make it rue the day It's time to wear the mask Wear the mask™ Dead Raccoon "Every bottle of Dead Raccoon begins with the finest barley... harvested from some Midwestern plain previously soiled from intentional sewage runoff. Near Zug Island. Hi, I'm John Ugolini, and when I want to unwind right down to the spool—when I really want to hurt some people's feelings—I reach for the only beverage carelessly filtered through the polyester wedding gowns of mail-order brides and distilled in discarded inner tubes from the Indiana Beach Lazy River. Dead Raccoon: Now available in Syrup Flavor. Wear the mask.™" Wear the mask™ Dead Raccoon
3.
Girl, you were dancing so hard you knocked me over That's how I knew I had to get you alone Girl, you were sweating inside that leather jacket and I could smell you getting into the zone CHORUS: You pulled the curtains You rolled the carpet out Laid out that bear skin rug That's what I'm talkin' 'bout You pulled the fire alarm You kicked the door down That's when I knew we had to get out of dodge We ran like hell through the night, jumped over fences, cut through the woods, and busted into the lodge CHORUS The flames licked higher and higher The smoke blew up and away Our bones all ground up together Ashes burned black then burned grey Girl, you were kicking my ass You took my name down You had my heart and you were holding your own Girl, you were screaming your guts out to the music Your breath was hot, your voice was shot, my mind was blown CHORUS
4.
PNK SHME 03:25
I married young and I thought that she would always love me She loved her makeup and all of her party times I should have known it was over when she started cryin' all night long 'til she left me for another guy All she left me was her Mary Kay powder pink Cadillac Thought she'd stick it to me, she thought she'd throw me off my game I called it PNK SHME Yeah Now everybody knows my name when I drive by PNK SHME I couldn't help it, I had to get where I was going It wasn't easy, I never thought I'd hear the end I thought my days our cruisin' were finally over I didn't know PNK SHME could be a man's best friend Until I took it to the Hot Wax Bikini Car Wash The girls went crazy, they couldn't wait to take a ride They climbed inside Yeah Now everybody knows my name Hold my head high PNK SHME P-N-K S-H-M-E Yeah Now everybody knows my name Hold my head high PNK SHME
5.
I see you at the bar there You're all tucked in and stiffed up Sippin' from your little cup, your little cup Boy, why are your clothes so clean? Ooh, baby, I'd be so obscene Your button-up is such a tease A hint of skin Oh, I wanna see you on your knees, on your knees Boy, I've seen you in my dreams I wanna fuck you cross-eyed I wanna get all scrunched up I wanna pop your buttons off I wanna fuck you crossed-eyed I break you down with one request A little wink I tell you, "Baby, loosen up, loosen up!" You're gonna get, you won't regret You're betting on a winning bet The taxi ride it isn't long Yeah, you belong I tip the cabbie way too much, way too much 'Cause I ain't gonna wait for change I wanna fuck you cross-eyed I wanna get all scrunched up I wanna pop your buttons off I wanna fuck but I don't believe your clothes are dry clean only Your seam is ripped, your stitch undone and it's all because of a little fun I can't believe your shirt says dry clean only I'll make a stain that won't come out Your dry cleaner's gonna scream and shout I wanna fuck you cross-eyed I wanna get all scrunched up I wanna pop your buttons off I wanna fuck you cross-eyed I wanna fuck you tongue-tied I wanna fuck you inside out I wanna fuck you cross-eyed
6.
When Stephanie came home, she she was so surprised to find a stranger watching T.V. inside He said his name was Ryan Friends of friends, you know She said, "Hey, there's a party if you wanna go." CHORUS: Ooo, oo-oo Met up a little later for a midnight snack They bought a box of Golden Grahams On the back was Jeopardy For Lovers: The Computer Game Put in the CD-ROM and played the night away CHORUS Who were the Montagues? Who were the Capulets? What are the Wildcats? What is a sobriquet? CHORUS
7.
He wore a three-piece She wore a prom dress Their paths had crossed but they'd not been properly introduced She liked his blue suit He liked her blue eyes Her heart was kick drum His heart was snare drum on every beat Her name was Enemy His name was Robot He saw her start up the mezzanine steps He made a bee-line, but at the top she had disappeared Was she a ghost that he had imagined? He turned his back until she returned unaccompanied So there was Enemy and there was Robot Bike messengers danced below I love you Enemy I love you Robot
8.
Impeccable 03:30
Days of late I'm a sinner, man Never get home for my dinner, man Got a date with a pin-up boy He's always restless Faces forward in a dance likes to fake romance paints a dreary happenstance I think he's pretty Days of late, I'm a target practice Always late for my latest wish Got a fate with monotony It keeps me going I face forward in a trance I like my circumstance I paint a funny little life At times I'm lively CHORUS: And baby, fortunate for me We were an impeccable we And at least I was clean While you wrote love songs Days of late I'm a combat zone Fighting vainly on the telephone Got a faceful of worried lines and nothing changes You face forward seeing space You fake a jolly face You paint a pretty black and white and you lose sight CHORUS Take your time Make you mine They think I'm fine Won't change my mind CHORUS Baby, I'm not hiding from all the silly lies you spun but we all had such fun while you wrote love songs
9.
High Horse 02:17
get off your high horse you're right down here with me and it's too late anyway 'cause I spent the money on booze and pills and horses and yeah, it was goddamn worth it so cut me up with your kitchen knives and free us both from our wretched lives but get off your high horse your pretensions are useless and your vanity's worth even less 'cause I'd rather die than be penned in straight and narrow and I can beg and steal and borrow so put antifreeze in my coffee or you could make it look like a robbery but you, of course, will do nothing and I will keep on drinking until the ground swells up and takes me if only I were so lucky but you're on your high horse
10.
CHORUS: Straight out of beauty school Plastered by light and truth She is a witch of the new millennium Get close enough to touch She'll burn your paltry lust She is a witch of the new millenium She'll make you believe in forever Senseless, free, you'll have no want of sound She'll force the spin on your mary-go-round Round and round and round Squash the moves you can muster Bruise the floor the walls the chair the door She dances down No second chance, no rock without show Can't promise comfort but fire will engulf your little mind She'll see you coming and you can't break free there's no time CHORUS Frequently fast at forgiving All this time displacement made you blind Blind to the weight of her heart in her hand, yeah The prowess of her mind Dim the lights of her basement Make her grope the edges of the wall She'll never fall She's a watershed, she's superhuman Can't see in darkness Her pupils resist your narrow shove It's not opinion, she's objectively mocking your love Oh She is a witch of the new millennium
11.
I see you at the bar there You're all tucked in and stiffed up Sippin' from your little cup, your little cup Boy, why are your clothes so clean? Ooh, baby, I'd be so obscene Your button-up is such a tease A hint of skin Oh, I wanna see you on your knees, on your knees Boy, I've seen you in my dreams I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed I wanna get all scrunched up I wanna pop your buttons off I wanna BLEEP you crossed-eyed I break you down with one request A little wink I tell you, "Baby, loosen up, loosen up!" You're gonna get, you won't regret You're betting on a winning bet The taxi ride it isn't long Yeah, you belong I tip the cabbie way too much, way too much 'Cause I ain't gonna wait for change I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed I wanna get all scrunched up I wanna pop your buttons off I wanna BLEEP but I don't believe your clothes are dry clean only Your seam is ripped, your stitch undone and it's all because of a little fun I can't believe your shirt says dry clean only I'll make a stain that won't come out Your dry cleaner's gonna scream and shout I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed I wanna get all scrunched up I wanna pop your buttons off I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed I wanna BLEEP you tongue-tied I wanna BLEEP you inside out I wanna BLEEP you cross-eyed

about

Three Chicago friends set out to make a "classic rock" album but got lost along the way.

credits

released September 5, 2013

Recorded by Travis Carter at Gabe's place and at Breakfast Nook Studios. Mastered by Conor Loughridge.

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all rights reserved

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That's That And The What's What Chicago, Illinois

Our favorite publications include "Get Bent Quarterly", "National Turbographix", and the labels on bottles of Dead Raccoon. We smoke five packs of wolves a day. Three-time Junior National Wonder Rat Champions. Friends of Mr. Taco.

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